Conquering Fear Factors:

What Students May Be Thinking

Getting involved, meeting new people and finding your place on campus can be overload for some students. They may have certain fears — whether you deem them "rational" or not — about all of it.

Here are some of the fears they may express when thinking about getting involved:

• I'm afraid I'll look stupid.
  
• What if no one agrees with what I say?
  
• This is my chance to make a good first impression — I don't want people thinking I'm a dork.
  
• What if my voice shakes when I talk or I don't make any sense?
  
• Will people in this group accept me?
  
• What if I'm so different from the others that we have nothing in common?
  
• Will I self disclose too much, making others uncomfortable?
  
• Will I seem smart enough to be in college if I open my mouth?
  
• What if the group attacks me? Will I be able to respond intelligently?

Some students imagine the "what ifs" and let their fears get the better of them. You can help by:

• Listening without judgment
  
• Not just offering "You can do it!" encouragement, but going the next step to help them figure out how they can do it
  
• Reminding them that college is full of all sorts of people to connect with, not necessarily the cliques they may have experienced other places
  
• Encouraging them to talk with a support person on campus about their fears, whether it's a residence hall director, an advisor, a coach or a counselor — there are lots of folks ready and willing to listen and problem-solve with your student!
  
• Letting your student know that you support her, no matter what, and reminding her of times when she has attacked her fears successfully — that'll help build her confidence mightily

It's natural to have some fear of the unknown — and college life holds its share. Yet, with your support and that of other good folks on campus, we can all set your student up for success!